Canadian History 101

Canada has pretty much the most boring history of any country that ever existed. Maybe like Australia and NZ have pretty boring shit but at least they were built with criminals and have sheep to fuck and kangaroos and shit. Canadian history is so boring. Its like it was a British colony that they didn't even really want they just didn't want someone else to take it, what they really cared about was the US, then the US was like well fuck you guys and had a revolution. Revolution is always interesting unless its industrial, then it sucks. Anyways, they had a big war and the US won and the British were all sad they lost the good colony then they were like, we really don't want to have to deal with another war over Canada especially since we don't really want it so they just pensioned it off and were like, you can be your own country now but we still kinda own you if we need your help fighting wars and shit. So then there was Canada. Then there was Louis Riel and he was a fucking dumbass who thought he was the reincarnation of Christ and did some crazy shit and wanted the pope to be in Montreal. Then Quebec was pissed off all the time and forever more because in the making of Canada the British forgot there were a bunch of French fucks stuck in there who didn't really even want to be there and didn't give a flying fuck about Britain. Then they were bullied by the British to go into the Boer War which is the worst war that ever existed and I never want to hear about it again because it was stupid core. Then Quebec was pissed. Oh yeah and there was the War of 1812 where the Canada like fought the US and burned some shit down, minor shit, like when lame ass teenagers rebel badly by getting drunk one time then returning to their fucking youth group and end up being social workers. Thats what Canada is in the scheme of country personalities. the social worker. Fuck social workers. Anyway, I digress... So after the Boer War Quebec was pissed and then they built two ships to protect Britian a token amount and stuff, then there was WW1. Canada was all gung ho about that shit because they had a hard on for the mother country. Oedipus much? So they went to war and Quebec was still pissed because there was really no reason why Canada should involve itself in a foreign war that didn't affect it at all and WW1 was stupid anyway because it was just about bogus alliances, how come a Serb shoots and Austrian and Canada ends up fighting Germany? So then Canada was like, when it came time for peace treaties (the ones that fucked shit up even worse) and Britain was going to sign for everyone but Canada was like, no dudes, we can sign for ourselves. Quebec was pissed. Then there was the depression. The depression is like just as bad as the Boer War and the Industrial revolution. Skip that. WW2...Canada made their own decision to go in that one but it was a way better war because there was Hitler and junk etcetera. Then there was Trudeau. Then that other guy. Now Stephen Harper. Fuck Stephen Harper. He's so lame that he's not even fun to hate on like Bush. Then just last week they wanted to reinact the Battle of the Plains of Abraham. Quebec was pissed. Now it's not happening anymore.