ssssstressssss

I'm really bored right now because I have no car and Geoff didn't want to hang out so I have spare time to dwell on how unpleasant life is becoming this week, this culmination of all things that worry me and make life less enjoyable...

Things that are causing me stress:

Exams: for obvious reasons but also because I haven't done too well in previous semesters and would love to get my GPA up this semester. All of my exams are going to be pretty hard too and require a lot of studying that I just can't seem to start doing even though I'm so bored.

Car: My car is all broken and stuff and my parents want to sell it rather than keep getting it fixed. This is turning out to be way more emotional than I may have anticipated and is just adding a general air of depression to everything. No car will ever be as good. Change is sometimes good I guess but some other times its just plain for the worst. Like the tearing down of the Cameron Street Bridge, the eventual demise of my car and the building of Wal-Mart in PG. Sometimes the old stuff is just better and progress is just teaching us to accept less.

Summer job: as if school stress wasn't enough, after its all over and all that I could have done has been done, I don't get to relax, I have to work...and hopefully get a different job if I can or I'm going to go crazy. I will probably hear back from the thing I really want to do by next Tuesday so that will be nice, either way. I just want to know what is happening so I can make a plan and be less anxious all the time about the summer.

Money: I got none. Actually I have 200ish dollars which is more than I've had for a month but I have to work really hard on saving money and stuff. I want to drive Geoff (if my car is fixed) to Burns Lake on his birthday to get a club sandwich and possibly commune with some alpacas. I would also like a bike, a nice one at that. I don't really know what else I even want to buy. Some new clothes would be nice. I'm not about clothes like some people but I've noticed that my clothes that aren't just completely generic are all falling apart. It would be nice to have a level of income where I could buy something if I wanted it. Just like anything, like a taco or a ball of yarn or something.

Living at home: Ugh. My parents are really decent but I just really want to live with Geoff and have our own space. It would be really cool to decorate the walls with maps and have plants and hedgehogs and potlucks and cute stuff like that. To do that though I would have to work way more and have decent income so that I could pay rent consistantly and be sure that I would be ok and not have to move back home because I really wouldn't want to do that. ugh. I have to make sure my parents would still pay for school too or else it really isn't logical to move out until I have a bachelors degree.